When Sadness, emptiness, and problems find you, this is what you need to do to make thing right within your life.
You would be amazed how many people forget who their first love really is and what happens when you forget Him. This is when you are in Sin and how you find yourself in the situations that you are in. I was beginning to put the missing pieces together that would unlock the doors to heaven.
Losing your way in Life
I soon quit my job at the factory to now go to college full time to finish with my degree. I was just a few classes away from getting my Associates degree as an Electrical Engineer Tech. I really wanted to become a park ranger at first, but when I had learned from my conciliar that the government will only take the top two percent of the nation’s highest grads, I knew that I would never be able to make it. Even thou I loved the great outdoors as much as I did, I knew that I wasn’t the smartest. After finishing with my Chemistry and a few other courses, I then changed my degree over to an E.E.T., because at least it would now open more doors for me.
My parents soon once more tried to make my life as miserable as they could. My dad started with his dead line date once again, just like he had done to my younger brother. You would think that people would change, but old habits are too hard to break for many. My dad was now laid off from work due to the Steel Mills closing their doors for good, and it really did bothered him to see that I was trying to make something of my own life. With him being at home in Indiana everyday made everything even harder for me.
I could not do anything right in his eyes and all that he wanted to do was just sit in the garage and drink his beer. I told him that I had two more weeks left at school with my finals and that I would be gone out from his house. He tried to con me into doing something so that he would not have to do it. He told me that he would let me stay an extra week if I would cut a giant tree that had just fallen from a storm next to our house. I couldn’t because I already started studying for my final examines which were starting the next week. I refused to cut the wood and tried to finish my semester at school, but now I was forced to find a new place to live. To say the least I did poor on some of my final exams, but I still managed to pass all of them. When I returned home that night from my last test, I went straight into my bedroom and packed all of my personal belongings and I then loaded them into my car and drove off. That was over twenty some years ago, and I only once returned because of my younger sister who asked me to come to her graduation.
I started a new job with a company that mfg. packaging equipment, and for the next two-three years while I was with this company, it managed to get listed in INC. 500 as one of the fastest growing companies. I was very seldom ever home or at my apartment. I was traveling all across North American. Day after day and week after week, I was somewhere else working while meeting other people. Some were new startup companies, but for the most of them, they were well known corporations. I enjoyed helping and being with other people so much that my customers would not purchase any other new machinery unless I was the one who oversaw the installations on their new production lines.
The company that I worked for was now being forced because of the many requests for me by their customers that they now had to fly me everywhere from one part of the country to the next to meet the trucks delivering their equipment. All of the other installers working still had to drive their own equipment to the jobs sites, but not me, I flew everywhere.
One day the owner of my company pulled me over to the side and asked me if I had ever thought about going into sales. I knew that he was now spending more money on having me fly from job to job and that he was losing profits because of me. I said to him after he had asked me, “Not really, I enjoy what I’m doing now” He asked me to give it a try and that I would be a real natural at it, so I did. He was right, I was a real natural. The pay was great and life was good. I kept on traveling and with each paycheck that I had gotten I would buy myself a new piece of furniture for my once empty apartment. At first, I just had my sleeping bag in the middle of the floor. From there I would add more furniture with each commission paycheck.
As I traveled the country side, I would see all of these beautiful sights, Lake Tahoe, Seattle’s Mt Rainer, Mt. Hood, Idaho, Michigan, Vermont, on and on. As I would explore all the sights and meet all these people from around the country, I would sometimes sit upon a mountain top and say to God, I wish that I just had someone to able to share all of these sights and experiences with. Being on the road more than twenty days a month can get to be a very lonely job. Whenever I had any spare time to myself, I would explore the surrounding area or just walk the streets sightseeing. I didn’t drink and I still loved the outdoors and exploring all of the new places that I was now visiting.
When I would return back to my apartment, the place was quiet and empty. I would take my large paychecks and just put them all in the bank. It was then that I saw a beautiful gal at my local bank. The other tellers edge me over to meet her. I told them really, what makes you think I would have even a chance. They told me to go on over and say hi to her, so I did. We started talking and one day just for the heck of it, I decided to ask her out for a date. I figured I didn’t have much of a chance, because she was that good looking and I wasn’t. She said, “Sure”. She must have known how much money I had in my bank account. It was the only other logical reason that made any sense for her wanting to go out on a date with me.
We went out and something in the back of my mind just wasn’t right. That feeling you get, uneasy, something is wrong. It was like I kept asking myself she’s too pretty of a person to find someone like me attractive. A few months had passed and one day one of her friends told me that she was out with some others guys while I was out of town on one of my business trips. To make things worse, she was also seeing a fellow co-worker from my company that she had just met while we were at our company Christmas party. Seems my hunch was right after all. I knew that this was too good to be true and I could feel it. To make a long story short I had to break up with her. It didn’t even phase her one bit when I did. She didn’t care about me she only cared about having a good time. How can I say this, because one day I asked her what do you want to do with your life? She replied, “Sit home, watch T.V. entertain, and eat bon-bon ice cream”.
A few months had past and again I was thinking, why can’t I ever find someone, anyone, who would just love me for who I really am? Someone who didn’t have an ex or someone else that I would have to deal with like all of those other issues that they seem to bring with them into a new relationship. I was soon coming up to my 30th birthday, and I was beginning to feel like there was something wrong with me once again, just like when I was a child, when I was told that everything was my fault for being born.
Then one day the light bulb came back on again, I said, “I know what to do, I’ll asked God!” He’ll know what to do.” You see, I was so busy with working and with making money that I wasn’t spending enough time with my Father in Heaven like I was use to do each day out in the orchard. When you stop talking to God, it’s just a matter of time before things in your life begin to fall apart all around you. It happens all the time, and every time I was beginning to notice, talking to God a few times in a week wasn’t working like it used to work for me.
There will always going to be people in your life that if you do not become as evil as they are, and feed off of each other’s misery and sickness, evil will do all that evil can and turn against you. The best thing that you can ever do is to be able to walk away just like Jesus did. Let the dead bury the dead. Do not look back and become like Lot’s wife did. There are so many people that you will meet on your way through life’s journey. If you insist on wasting your time trying to change someone whose heart is as black as the night, you will be missing out on all the others who are seeking the love that you have and being able to help them to find God.
The more time that you spend on advancing your own career or tying to better yourself within a corrupted system, the less time that you will find to spent on building a stronger relationship with God and learning how to love others as Jesus showed us. Is not life more than just flesh, but Spirit as well? Jesus didn’t stay in one place trying to convince all the others to accept Him. He went out to make a difference in the lives of as many as would listen to Him using His love.
Satan uses what I call “Life” as a way to keep us humans from finding the time to spend with God. What I also have learned is that Time is more of a Constant, and that Love is a Variable. Be very careful not to fall into Satan’s trap. The less time you that you find for God your Father in Heaven each day, is like being on an iceberg that slowly drifts away out into the sea and then melts without any sudden notice. Soon you will find yourself in the ocean alone with the sharks, and nothing left for you to hang onto.
Be sure to read the next chapter of my book “The Chosen Ones” and see what God does to those of us who love him.